


there is no dream, so wake up

by jerk3max



Category: Gorgeous Freeman
Genre: Beauty comforting Gorgeous :'-), Dissociation, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Past Sexual Assault, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:00:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29039013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jerk3max/pseuds/jerk3max
Summary: Gorgeous Freeman has a nightmare, Beauty Calhoun is there to comfort him.
Relationships: Gorgeous Freeman/Beauty Calhoun
Kudos: 45





	there is no dream, so wake up

**Author's Note:**

> i enjoy taking characters out of their shitty horrible machinimas and making them well rounded and nuanced :-)
> 
> MASSIVE HUGE CONTENT WARNINGS: this fic touches on trauma from past sexual assault. the attack is not detailed at all, just mentioned in passing, but the rest of the fic is beauty helping gorgeous through a dissociative state as a result of being triggered. 
> 
> title is from the song Three Peaches by Neutral Milk Hotel.
> 
> Beauty Calhoun inspired by NewtAfterDark!

Gorgeous wakes with a start. _Fuck._ Another nightmare. He hadn't had one in a while. 

His heart is racing in his chest, and rage boils in his stomach. He grips his bedcovers with tight fists, knuckles turning white as he tries to ground himself. 

His duvet bunches around his ankles as he brings his legs up, resting his forehead on his knees and sighing deeply. His breathing is ragged, and for a moment, he stops moving.

He's completely numb, he can't feel anything anymore. His eyes glaze and his head is empty and in all honesty, he has no idea where he is.

All he knows is that in his dream, he was back at Black Mesa. Only briefly, but he was there again.

His foot crossed the threshold of surface access, hand reaching forward to touch the health station. Lord knows he needed it.

Then, blackness, and hands grabbing him. 

He fights, frantic, teeth gritted and blood rushing in his ears. Something hits him in the face, he thinks it's the butt of a gun, but before he knows it, he's out cold.

Knowing what came next was the worst part.

He knows what they did to him, even if his memory had purposefully altered itself to forget. He didn't want to remember. 

It's that moment, that feeling of waking up after- defiled and left for dead in the garbage compactor- that hurt him most.

He comes back to his senses, and his knees hurt. He wonders for how long he had been sat like that.

Beauty is beside him, awake now, kind eyes watching him.

"Hey, doc, you back in the room?"

Gorgeous barely has the energy to nod.

"Alright darlin'," he says, voice gentle. "Can I touch you?"

Gorgeous nods again. 

Beauty was the only one who ever saw him like this. He was the only one who knew, and Gorgeous wanted to keep it that way. He feels Beauty snake an arm around his shoulders and hold him close, and then Beauty's hand is holding his own. 

"Can you talk?" He asks. He's running his thumb across Gorgeous' hand, and Gorgeous moves to interlock their fingers. He makes a small trill, like a cat being woken, and Beauty smiles, "Good enough."

Beauty gives his arms a light squeeze and rests his head on Gorgeous' shoulder, giving him a small kiss there.

"What does my hand feel like, doc?" Beauty hums, "The one you're holding."

Breathing starting to slow, Gorgeous gives his hand a squeeze. What _did_ his hand feel like?

His hands were nice. Gorgeous had always thought that. Calloused from age and years of hard work and survival, but still somehow so gentle and soft. Like Beauty himself, he supposed. 

"Sweaty," Gorgeous says, giving him another soft squeeze. 

"Very funny," Beauty smiles. He rocks their bodies gently, "What about the sheets, in your other hand."

He didn't even realize he was still holding them. He uncurls his fingers, joints aching slightly from the force of his panicked grip. 

Dragging a nail across the fabric, he sighs. He didn't know how to describe it. It wasn't expensive, soft linens by any stretch of the imagination. It was almost rough feeling when he picked at them like this.

"Cheap," he says.

"Well yeah, you know I'd spoil us with silk if I could, doc," Beauty says. He kisses Gorgeous' shoulder again, "You know I'd spoil you rotten if I could."

Gorgeous slowly lifts his head from his knees, neck creaking as he turns to face Beauty. 

Even in the darkness of their bedroom, his eyes were shining. He was so handsome, and Gorgeous felt so, so fucking lucky. He rests his forehead on Beauty's own, humming as Beauty continues to rock them both.

"You ready to go back to sleep?" Beauty asks.

"Hmf," Gorgeous says, placing a kiss in Beauty's hair.

Beauty knew that was his way of asking for more hugs first.

**Author's Note:**

> *gives charas my trauma* deal w this now lol
> 
> Thank u so much for reading! kudos and comments are very appreciated :-)


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